Happy holidays!
Note: If you want to see a truly happy holiday
message see this. As this note is not really very happy at
all.
Now if you are like most families the holidays mean
a trip to your local airport for a jaunt across the lands to visit places,
people, and because the holidays are not without commercialism.. things! Well
this holiday, I want you to do something very important. I want you to
"Opt Out" of the backscatter x-ray imaging machine at airport
security. If you think you might need a bit more convincing than that, then
read onward.
1) Don't get voluntarily x-rayed. It's bad for your
health. Cells get warped and become more prone to cancer. X-rays are
carcinogenic. The more you get the merrier those cancer causing cells
proliferate. Think that a little old x-ray won't be as harmful as dental face
x-rays or flying in a plane in general or other exposures? Well, just think of
it as living in moderation. Decide what cancer causing beams of radiation are
worth it and which are not. If you have had cancer or have it now or just don't
like the idea or the word cancer, then don't get x-rayed at the airport! The
truth is folks, we don't know what levels are cancer-causing, we are all
different. The posted toxicity thresholds per TSA are not based on the elderly,
children, pregnant women or anyone with any kind of medical condition. We just
don't know. It is not worth it.
b) Also, it's a nude shot. If this bothers you
(transgenedered, woman of Islam who cannot be viewed by a man other than her
husband, child, modest anybody) then great! Don't get x-rayed for those
reasons, whatever your reason, don't get x-rayed. OPT OUT.
$$) Health or Nudity aside the reason we all of a
sudden have these intense homeland security devices is because Michael
Chertoff, who used to be the Secretary of Homeland Security under Bush, is
currently a paid lobbyist for the manufacture and installation of the
"backscatter body scan machines". That, my friends, is corruption,
fear-mongering, abuse of power for direct financial gain, and pure absurdity at
it's finest.
2) Ok, so this means you are signing up for the
grope. Please refrain from using the euphemism "enhanced pat down"
because it is a grope. Please announce, "I opt out of the x-ray, can I
please be felt up instead?" or "Nope, no radiation for me, please
show me your best moves!"
d) Fine, maybe that doesn't sound good either. Then
there are two options:
!) Don't fly. Staycation it up! This is easy for
some to say, I bought tickets to Mexico for the holidays, before TSA bought the
right to get in my underpants, and I want to go to Mexico damnit.
A) Write to your senators, and congressional
legislators. I have already taken liberties to provide email addresses, phone
numbers and canned letters. Feel free to edit them as you see fit. I became a
little emotion-heavy at the end of mine. Do with it as you will.
Phone statement for Maria Cantwell's
voicemail (202) 224-3441: "I think that the TSA has gone
too far. Body scanning and inappropriate groping are unconstitutional and
wrong. If you want my vote, change the policy."
Write to Senator Patty Murray: http://murray.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?p=ContactMe
Write to Senator Maria Cantwell: http://cantwell.senate.gov/contact/
Write to U.S. Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers
of Washington's 5th Dist.: http://mcmorris.house.gov/index.cfm?sectionid=82§iontree=4,82
This is what I wrote each of them:
Dear Cathy McMorris Rodgers/Senator Patty
Murray/Senator Maria Cantwell,
I am writing to you to urgently request your
immediate support and action to become a co-sponsor of the crucial legislation
that is H.R. 6416: The American Traveler Dignity Act in Congress.
Dispersed ionized radiation in backscatter scans
are clinically harmful to soft tissue. The threshold is listed in media
publications as requiring 1,000 scans in one year. This exposure is
carcinogenic and the threshold is not based on children, the elderly, pregnant
women or individuals with medical complications or conditions. It is absolutely
detrimental to our health.
"Enhanced pat downs" are a despicable,
unwarranted invasion and sexual assault on our children, pregnant wives,
elderly mothers, mentally disabled adults and everyone in between.
I have rights. I have the right to not be subjected
to harmful x-rays that take and save photographs of my naked body. I have the
right to not be sexually abused by a stranger.
Women of religious sects that forbid the opposite
gender's viewing of their bodies is violated.
Children, your innocent kids or grandchildren, are
defenseless against this horrendous invasion and molestation of their private
bodies.
Survivors of rape and incest are irreparably
traumatized by airport security.
This is disgusting. I want to fly my pregnant
sister, her husband, and their 4 year old daughter out to see me and my family
for Christmas, and I refuse to have them radiated or sexually abused because
they might have toothpaste in their luggage.
This has got to stop. I am sick with hatred for
what our country has become. Not because of terrorists but because of fear and
power.
Stop. Stop allowing TSA personnel access to my
little niece's privates! Is that too graphic? Better x-ray through her princess
jammies and save an image of her nudity in some database instead then.
Dear Senator/Cathy/Patty/Maria, please help us
put an end to this crime.
Sincerely,
Jane
Enraged citizen.
Incidentally here is a
list of possible options to recite during your friendly safety grope:
·
Oh, you've just got to
teach my husband that technique!
·
Here's some hand
sanitizer, you'll want this afterward.
·
[commence "When Harry
Met Sally" bogus orgasm sequence]
·
Since I paid for first
class, I get a happy ending with this right?
·
I have
bed-bugs/lice/crabs/scabies.
·
Reveal your naked-self
underneath your trench-coat and shout "I got naked for national security!
·
Well, that was humiliating
for the both of us.
·
That was wonderful, where
can I leave a tip?
·
[initiate crying sequence]
·
Turn your head to the side
and cough.
·
Look the agent directly in
the eye and simply state "thank you for groping me."
And if this post has left
you feeling distraught, here are your actual rights: You do not have a
constitutional right to buy an airline ticket (air travel is a privilege not a
right, it is voluntary), therefore it cannot technically violate the 4th
amendment--which this otherwise totally violates! You have the right to opt out
of the x-ray scan, which means you are subjected to a "grope." If
undergoing a grope, you have the right to a same-sex groper, you have the right
to be groped in private instead of public, and you have the right to have a
support person present for your groping. Don't forget to say something awkward
to your TSA Groper so they feel uncomfortable, but not threatened, you don't want
things to escalate and end up on a No-Fly list or worse.
One more thing, many
stories I have read about personal experiences, relate that the larger the
group of people opting out the more likely the TSA crew is to just pass you
through the original wand scanners out of annoyance for slowing down the line.
So get there early. Talk to people in line around you. Encourage others to opt
out for their safety. Take the time, and make the airlines and TSA personnel
complain that the expensive x-ray machines aren't worth it. And write to your
politicians, this is the only way to stop this ridiculous power-trip.
Thank you for you time readers,
may you travel this holiday in peace and solidarity, without fear, radiation
and molestation!
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